This was a recent submission to my Q&A email file: “Brigitte – do you believe in soulmates?”
It surprised me that an immediate yes or no answer didn’t come into my mind when I read the question. I thought I knew how I felt about these things.
Wikipedia defines “soulmates”:
“Soulmate is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility.
A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one’s soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join. “
That first kind of soulmate, “someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility.”… that kind of soulmate is real, I know it without a doubt.
But the second part of Wikipedia’s definition is different. And this is the idea that many people think of when they hear the world “soulmate”: the belief that there is one specific person on the entire earth meant for each of us to find, a person who will make us feel happy and complete and relieved of questions. For those who believe in this kind of soulmate, waiting for this satisfaction and trying to recognize this person can become a burden.
Understandably, this idea can make us a little panicky. We don’t trust ourselves when it comes to identifying a soulmate. We’re disappointed and concerned when the feelings aren’t obvious and easy. We fear we’ve already screwed something up. Maybe we use the noble idea of love as a kind of blanket to justify and hide selfish decisions. It’s an impossible amount of pressure for a human to bear.
What I would hope for everyone is that finding a “soulmate” would feel like an unraveling of knots, a pleasant pull of gravity… not a burden. I love thinking about this stuff, but when the idea feels heavy or tight, I try to stop thinking about it. Because I think that’s a sign I’m doing it wrong.
Do you have a question you’d like me to answer on my blog? Send it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org , and be sure to put Q&A in the subject line